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CEO’s MusingsCommunity Write-upsMedia KitTHIRD DIAMOND PEPES COMPANY REPORT
Gen 2 Details. Nu York. Company Updates. The Employeenises ask and the CEO delivers. Come and get some. Booba.
Picture this. It’s Sunday evening and the weekend is tapering off. You make your way to the beach to feel the sand between your toes and the sea breeze across your bare face. You bask yourself in this feeling of freedom for a moment… but then it starts to rain. And when CEO says rain, he means that it pours. You hurry yourself back to your car and wipe yourself off.
Evening relaxation has been canceled.
To some, this can be frustrating. To the CEO, he remembers the famous saying:
“You can’t have any rainbows without a little rain”.
My rainbow? Knowing that in just a few hours time, the CEO would get to spend an entire week working alongside his lovely Employees.
Administrative Updates
I hope my preamble serves as a lesson to my Employees to take the good with the bad, to have a positive outlook on all things, and to be a better person for it. But enough about this; allow the CEO to dive into those oh so detestable administrative updates.
Gen 2 Pledge has Completed
It is with great pride that I, Nutoro, esteemed CEO, announce that the Gen 2 pledge was completed in less than 40 hours. This is a world record time that will feature in the next edition of the Guiness Book of World Records and another feather in the cap of this fine institution.
What this means is that the Gen 2 mint will officially be going ahead. At Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd., we often jest about its implications, however there is a truth to our jokes. Gen 2 dueling will usher in a new era of NFT interoperability - all of which is governed by Gen 1s.
Gen 2 Reveal
With the confirmation of Gen 2, the question on everybody’s minds is “when can I get my clammy vaselined hands on one of those adorable little nuggets”. Well question no longer, the CEO is here to answer.
The mint for Gen 2 will begin on [date] and will have 1,111 NFTs available for 0.88 ETH per token.
“Ohhhh, b-b-b-but m-m-mister C-C-CEO, my body physically cannot wait that long”
Well, my dear Employee, doesn’t your esteemed CEO have a little treat for you…
Gen 2 Diamond Pepes will be ushered in with a staggering display of videography, beauty and extravagance with a one-week spectacle - Nu York.
“B-b-b-ut w-w-wasn’t N-n-nu Y-y-y-ork a m-m-meme?”
If you thought that, don’t ever let me catch you using Nu’s name in vain again. April 18th to April 24th. 1 Times Square. Mark down the dates, mark down the location. See the Company. in all its glory.
Now that these boring administrative affairs are out of the way, let’s once again take a look at some of our achievements since our last update. As you go through these, I want you to reflect upon the ways that you played a role in these successes. Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. would not be the same if it was not for the dedication of each and every one of my dear Employees..
1. Employee #1925 elected President of the former United States
As a foreign resident with no local ties or campaign funds, politicians laughed as our Head of Acquisitions (“CapedApe” to colleagues) ran for presidency. They stopped laughing when he won the election 100:0. Apparently good looks are enough for those silly Americans.
The first order of affairs was renaming the country something that more accurately reflected what the American people actually care about.
We present to you: The Nunited States of Numeribooba.
2. Creation of the Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. Media Empire
So-called “Coinbase” recently announced a movie trilogy featuring the poorly designed, disgusting, zero utility “BAYCs”.
Box office predictions? The CEO does not deal in negatives.
Our lauded Assistant Head of Media Employee giFFy (Employee ID not assigned) has decided to start his own movie series. Introducing “Godnunu”, a revised take on the old classic “Godzilla”.
4 x 300m of pure sex appeal vs. 1 x 300m of some weird giant lizard creature?
If only the ladies would be so lucky.
3. April Office Party
“Oh, they’re so successful, I bet all they do is work work work with no play.”
You’re wrong.
Our April Office Party featured an excellent spread prepared by our Head of Media Employee #1409 (“Riudomenton” to colleagues). Delicious food, good vibes, and the best colleagues anyone can ask for? That’s what I call the Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. difference.
Dolan, Boomer, and Spurdo have been included for diversity reasons after HR received incessant complaints about so-called “racism”. CEO does not even know what that word means.
Wrap-Up
This concludes our Third Company Report. The achievements in the past week have been commendable and the CEO would like to extend his heartfelt gratitude to each and everyone of his lovely Employees.
A gentle reminder that Nu York will be in full effect from 18th April to 25th April so to those available, please do grab some footage and send it into the Company HQ. Gen 2 mint to be released on [date] so keep your calendars open.
Booba, groppa, and nueenis until next time, my beautiful Employees.
Yours sincerely,
Nutoro
CEO of Diamond Pepes
CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM
Thanks to so-called Sami’s mothers for the kisses. Other kiss locations not shown for reasons of decency. Booba.
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