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EIGHTH DIAMOND PEPES COMPANY REPORT

It is time for us to Celebrity Smack DOWN some fools. Get amongst it, Employees.

A truly splendid week at the fine institution of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. and The Most Esteemed is cool, calm, and collected as per usual (refer to the Seventh Company Report to gauge the mental stability required to operate a highly successful Company through all market conditions.). Tomorrow I shall be taking my beloved pup to the ol’ veterinarian to engage in a spot of surgery - those dastardly calcium deposits have been the cause of much discomfort to him as of late and it is high time to get them out.

I bestow upon you my calm mind and steady hand, my dear veterinarian!

ADMINISTRATIVE UPDATES

As you should be well aware, the Gen 2 mint has been delayed.

“Oh my handsome, intelligent, very cool CEO, wen wen wen?” I hear you ask.

The new date? Whenever the duelling UI is completed!

Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. team of unpaid interns have been hard at work completing our UI up to standards for dueling which will be tested before the Gen 2 mint begins on X date with a very special event in the week leading up to the mint.

What better way to test our dueling function than having our very first Celebrity Smackdown?

Celebrity Smackdown

To pay homage to the achievements of Dopex in the past year (of which there are minimal,), the participants of this first tournament will be representatives from our ecosystem partners along with a few wild cards.

The rules are simple:

We will have 8 (eight) honoraries who will each represent 1 (one) of Dopex’s ecosystem partners
Participants will be randomly paired and face-off in single elimination duels with the winners proceeding to the next duel
Duels will continue until there is a single Esteemed Champion of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd.’s inaugural Celebrity Smackdown
The winning honorary will receive a free Gen 2 which they can reward to a community member which brought the strongest meme game to the tournament
Booba, groppa, nueenis, etc.

Just who are these participants, I hear you ask? Allow I, Nutoro, CEO and certified supermodel, to introduce our first entrants!

The Most Esteemed CEO Nutoro - Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd.

It is rumored that Stephen Hawking, Zyzz, and Miranda Kerr procreated to create the perfect combination of brains, brawn, and beauty that is Nutoro.

Let no evil stand in his way lest they be smited by a quick left-right GROPPAAAAAAAAAAA.

Intern TZ - Dopex

Between foot rubs, coffee runs, and letter openings, our beloved intern TZ doubles as the founder of our subsidiary Dopex. His love of writing feature-length novels has given him the grip strength necessary to vanquish any opponent.

Challengers beware!

Tetranode - Mithical

“The proverbial king of DeFi, reply guys have no greater fear than being ratioed by the dastardly Tetradick Chode.

This chunky nugget oughta be in a weight class all his own.”

Is what I would say if this fool was a respectable opponent.

Homie is out here wearing a crop top to battle.

“Oh, please don’t beat me Mr. CEO! You’d be able to do whatever you want with me and my sexy little belly button”

Nice bait, you fat whale.

IceCreamMan - JonesDAO

The master strategist, IceCreamMan’s dual-wielding prowess makes him a formidable foe for all. The number of fools he has sent to the Shadow Realm cannot be counted on a single hand.

His latest victim? [Redacted]

The Most Esteemed paired up against an intern, a fat whale, or a mushroom-headed platypus… this is probably why paralympics is held as a separate competition.

Stay tuned as we reveal who our last 4 (four) projects will be and which dastardly honoraries will be representing them!

Community Bets

Every day that you hold your portfolio of shitcoins is a gamble, so why not make the gambling official with our Community Bets for our Celebrity Smackdown.

Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. will be holding a Community Bracket Bet where community members can bet on the final result like below:

Betting will have a 0.25 ETH buy-in with the winner(s) claiming the pot, so let’s pump those numbers up Employees!

Now with these dastardly administrative updates out of the way, let’s move on to our achievements of the week!

ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE WEEK

This edition of achievements of the week will focus on I, Nutoro, The Most Esteemed CEO of Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd.’s recent discovery of photoshop and will highlight some of my finest creations. Photoshop is genuinely one of the greatest inventions in the world.

1. :CEOShit:

A rendition of the timeless classic :MarioShit:, :CEOShit: pictures The Most Esteemed as he is sprawled on the ground covered in his own fecal matter holding the decapitated corpse of Inversebrah as he keeps a tight hold on Smolting’s head in his mouth. Note Mario hat for added sex appeal.

Now in sticker form on the Dopex discord, feel free to use it as a way to say that today is not a day for a day as they sometimes say.

2. Operation ‘God’s Plan’

In collaboration with our new Head of Religion, the Esteemed 12YAK, Diamond Pepes Pty Ltd. has begun releasing our so-called “Corporate Values” that Employees and non-believers must abide by lest they face eternal damnation in the Depths of Hell.

Listed below are the 10 Commandments of this fine institution:

Thou shalt have no other CEO’s before me
Thou shalt make no idols unless they are shaped after the CEO
You shalt not take Nu’s name in vain
Keep the weekend free to spend with your family and loved ones
Honor your mother, sisters, and aunties or the CEO will honor them for you
Thou shalt not kill unless the victim is a Sami [overruled due to truce]
See one LADY (or bloke) at a time
Thou shalt not rug pull
Thou shalt not LARP
Thou shalt not covet their neighbour’s Nu – we can’t all be so lucky

Repent at haste, sinners!

3. CEDo

Last few weeks were definitely more turbulent than some of us would have liked. Of the things in life that are absolute, there are not many things more certain than a Dopex-related release doing incredible damage to our poor bags.

Announce the Gen 2 mint? Why not bring a $50b protocol to its knees and the rest of the cryptocurrency market with it. It is what it is.

4. CEO becomes the official greatest person in the world

For time immemorial, CEO has been the butt of DN jokes from conniving members of the so-called “community” of Diamond Pepes and Dopex alike. Pictured below are some deplorable, juvenile and downright not-booba moments where these wretched characters took advantage of the CEO’s innocence.

This changed on the 20th of May 2022 when CEO claimed his first official victim.

Mewny? More like Pwnd-ny.

Parting Words

Gen 2 mint is well and truly around the corner (for real this time) and I implore that members of our participating ecosystem partners to pump those memes out and make sure your representatives receive the respect they deserve.

If your representative is lucky enough to win, your meme game could be the difference between a life of poverty and being the lucky winner of a free Gen 2!

As always, a booba, a groppa, and a nueenis until next time, my beautiful Employees.

Yours faithfully,

Nutoro

CEO of Diamond Pepes

CA CFA MBA MD PhD LLM

En Garde, vermin!

About Dopex

Dopex is a decentralized options protocol that aims to maximize liquidity, minimize losses for option writers and maximize gains for option buyers — all in a passive manner. Dopex uses option pools to allow anyone to earn a yield passively. Offering value to both option sellers and buyers by ensuring fair and optimized option prices across all strike prices and expiries. This is thanks to our own innovative and state-of-the-art option pricing model that replicates volatility smiles.

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